dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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