She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
