Fuck appropriateness.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
