so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
