My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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