He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize