Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
