I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
