nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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