Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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