sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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