this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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