Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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