So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
