her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
