Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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