I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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