There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
