dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
