Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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