I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
