So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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