My room smells like vodka and shame
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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