is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
