bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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