okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
