Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
