we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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