I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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