she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
