I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
