I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
