On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
