Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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