Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
