He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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