i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
