I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
