tell your sister to shave her snatch
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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