Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
