glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
