Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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