VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize