What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
