No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm at about main and main street
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
