Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
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