She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
