i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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