What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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