He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Randomize