My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Couch. On fire.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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