that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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