soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
