So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
