his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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