so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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