this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
