HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
