I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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