Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
