Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize