How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
