he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
