Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
