Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
