check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
