We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
